|
JANUARY |
|
1st. |
Woke up, got out of bed, looked out of the window, went back to bed. |
| 2nd. | Tore up diary. |
| 3rd. | Woke up feeling positive. Where's the sticky-tape?! |
| 4th. | Stumbled upon hidden bottle of Pitu. "Just the one won't harm... " |
| 5th. | ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... |
| 6th. | Took
celebratory drink. Personal record for New Years' resolution now
stands
at four days. |
| 7th. | Set
foot outside for the first time, since watching Alfred Hitchcock's
'Birds', on Boxing day. Got shit upon by flock of seagulls. |
| 8th. | Cold,
windy and with a thick covering of snow. Outside it's even worse. Must get roof fixed. |
| 9th. | Things
to wipe from memory. Part 1: Black and white printer ink. It's BLACK ink. BLAAACK! |
| 10th. | Had
horrible nightmare, again. Squawking noises and fluttering wings. Must get roof fixed. |
| 11th. | Watched
interesting TV documentary, about people who like watching
interesting TV documentaries. |
| 12th. | Spent
the whole day in bed, imagining it was summer. Must fix central heating thermostat. |
| 13th. | 'Most
accidents happen in the home'... I was reading this, as the book case
fell towards me with gathering speed. |
| 14th. | Woke up with song buzzing in my head... Removed MP3 player ear plugs. |
| 15th. | If
you can't find the letter, you'd sworn you'd placed in the letter rack, then check toaster. |
| 16th. | How
many times do I have to be scared to death, before realising that I'd
eaten beetroot the previous day. |
| 17th. | Finished
wrapping up clothes' parcel, ready to deliver to the 'Help Flood
Victims' sorting depot. |
| 18th. | Spent the whole day, looking for my favourite shirt. Still haven't found it. |
| 19th. | Went
to watch local football team. Fancy having to wait until half-way
through
the season before witnessing their best result. Lost, 8-1. |
| 20th. | Must
get more organised. Planned to make list, detailing most important jobs
to do. Couldn't find notebook. |
| 21st. | Wrote
a letter to vicar, reminding him that, according to his religion,
Sunday is
a day of rest and that not everybody wants to be awoken so early by the sound of bells. |
| 22nd. | Red,
blue, silver, red, green, white... there must be more interesting things
to do than noting the colour of passing cars. |
| 23rd. | Awoken
by the sound of the neighbour, singing in the shower. I'll be
pleased
when she gets hers fixed. |
| 24th. | For
my liking, computer software is still far too unreliable. "Are you
absolutely certain you want to change the font colour?" Yet, without any warning, you can delete that unimportant looking file with 'dll' extension. |
| 25th. | Took my weekly trip to the computer-repairs shop. |
| 26th. | Decided
to bake a cake. Recipe, ingredients, cooking utensils, patience... ... The supermarket sells delicious cakes, anyway... Add to shopping list. |
| 27th. | Amazing.
Just read that 1998 lasted one second longer, because of 'Universal Standard Time' adjustment. No wonder that year dragged. |
| 28th. | White, blue, red, silver, green, red... |
| 29th. | Decided
to have a lovely, soothing, relaxing bath...
Three phone calls from
the
same Tele-Marketing company, and four callers at the front door from, Parcel Express, my neighbour, Jehovah's Witness and... Carol singers?! |
| 30th. | That's
the fourth time I've had fish and chips this week. I hope that lady at
the
shop doesn't think I fancy her. |
| 31st. | Having struggled to think of what to eat today, decided upon fish and chips. |
|
FEBRUARY |
|
1st. |
People
should learn to talk more clearly. Of course the neighbour was
surprised |
| 2nd. | Steak
is great. Having used it yesterday on my black-eye, today, I fried it for
my evening meal. |
| 3rd. | Got a reply from the vicar. Didn't realise that they swore as much as that. |
| 4th. | It's
so easy to get distracted whilst Internet surfing. I set out, just to find
out the correct spelling for 'surprise', yet ended up on a site about naked origami. |
| 5th. | Realised
what I'd done with my favourite shirt. Just stopped myself from
phoning Bangladesh. |
| 6th. | Set
about clearing up the guest room. I wish I hadn't come across that 'Ideal
Home' magazine, because three hours later the room was still in a mess. |
| 7th. | I
must check the contents of my fridge more often. I discovered a strawberry yoghurt that had been in there nearly two years and a letter from my auntie. |
| 8th. | Why
can't people have respect for other people's property? My neighbour said
she only wanted to send one e-mail, but when I returned home I discovered; my desktop now had a full screen George Clooney wallpaper; there was a new folder entitled, 'My Stuff' and there were short-cut links to several sites: Linda's Lingerie, Marital Aids for Beginners, Ouch (?) and The Chippendales. |
| 9th. | My memory! Made my apologies to neighbour regarding Linda's Lingerie. |
| 10th. | The 24-Hour roof repairer, I called a month ago, finally arrived. |
| 11th. | Started
snowing heavily this evening. It's a comforting feeling, knowing that
the roof repairer will be coming next week to finish the job off. At least he knows what the hole looks like. |
| 12th. | I
know it's childish, but I still enjoyed building that snow man... And, all
in the comfort of my own home. |
| 13th. | Had
to trudge through the deep snow to collect a parcel from the
post-office. I'll feel more like reading 'The Greenhouse Effect' book in the summer. |
| 14th. | Received
one Valentine's card from a secret admirer. Was I just imagining it,
or did the card really have a fish and chip shop smell to it? |
| 15th. | I really enjoyed those fish and chips, today, especially on the second occasion. |
| 16th. | My
local football team is in trouble again. I know a 15-0 defeat is
humiliating,
but it was just a friendly, so there was no need for that after-match streak in the opponents dressing room. Apparently, it was the referee who reported the club, and not the players or manager of the U-21 ladies team. |
| 17th. | Is it, 'Feed a cold and starve a fever.' or 'Starve a cold and feed a fever.'? |
| 18th. | Felt even worse today. |
| 19th. | Because
of my state of health, the roof repairer has given me top priority. He'll
be coming next week now, instead of yesterday. |
| 20th. | It's
ridiculous. After the ending of certain TV programmes we're shown an immediate trailer for the following week's episode, with a reminder every hour hereafter, as if they're scared we'll change channels during the next seven days. |
| 21st. | How
was I to know that somebody had added an 'I' to the 'TO LET' sign. Luckily, the police let me off with a warning. |
| 22nd. | Before
you complain to the neighbours about their cooking smells entering your house, first check behind the radiator for hidden socks. |
| 23rd. | Everything
looks so much different in the dark. If I'd known that it was my
dressing gown, and not a giant grizzly bear, then I definitely wouldn't have thrown the alarm clock... Everything sounds so much louder at night. |
| 24th. | Who needs 250 TV channels? It just takes even longer to zap through the crap. |
| 25th. | What
a crazy day of eating. Three rounds of buttered toast, two sausage rolls,
a
bag of peanuts, fish and chips, a bag of cheese and onion crisps (family size), two ounces of chocolate-covered Brazil nuts and a Chinese take-away. |
| 26th. | Toilet... |
| 27th. | Red, blue, red, yellow, green... Why does snooker remind me of something else? |
| 28th. | The
cheek of it! The roof repairer is going on a two weeks holiday to Spain,
and,
if I wouldn't mind phoning all his customers to inform them? |
 |
